Well, then I finally calmed the heck down and realized: Yes, I do want them; Yes, they need to be easy as pie, and it had to be at least a little cute. So three designs and a whole lot of indecision later, here's what I finally came up with.
I'm very satisfied with them. Simple, cute, and to the point. That's what I'm all about 16 days until the big day.
*Okay, maybe "debacle" is exaggerating a little